Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can read

It is common sense that Joe Biden is ruining America and is unfit to be president, but why are the liberals still supporting him when Trump is obviously a much better fit for office?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why does Boko Haram attack its own Muslims?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

A Manson Family member was recommended for parole again. But she's not free just yet - NPR

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Scientists identify two global ocean bands heating at record rates - Earth.com

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What if the Big Bang wasn’t the beginning? Our research suggests it may have taken place inside a black hole - The Conversation

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

Tesla is forced to remove 64 Superchargers on NJ Turnpike, Musk claims ‘corruption’ - Electrek

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Are there any queer Space Marine Legion in Warhammer 30k or 40k?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

My religion teacher said that there are no atheists because in order to reject God, you must first have a concept of God, and if you have a concept of God, you are not an atheist. In what way is this true, if at all? Why?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Unclear if rock bottom, but Braves hit it anyway in 11-10 stunner loss - Battery Power

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What is the most popular song that includes the word "you"? Are there any other songs that use "you" multiple times?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I see through liars

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy bullshit